26 September 2009
25 September 2009
24 September 2009
23 September 2009
Feeling lonely today...again...
22 September 2009
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
‘Shall eagles not be eagles? wrens be wrens?
If all the world were falcons, what of that?
The wonder of the eagle were the less,
But he not less the eagle. Happy days
Roll onward, leading up the golden year.
The world is somewhat; it goes on somehow:
But what is the meaning of then and now?
I feel there is something; but how and what?
I know there is somewhat: but what and why?
I cannot tell if that somewhat be I.
Anyway...a lot of questions and no answers. Part of my growing poetry enjoyment is the sense that I'm drinking the nectar of the fruit without all of the peeling and pulp - sort of efficiency of word.
21 September 2009
20 September 2009
18 September 2009
Monday began slowly, skipping two classes and by this afternoon I had skipped every class this week, at least, once. Now maybe that got worked out of the system and won't need to do it again...
I think that I made myself sick this week, too. At first it felt like any slump: not sleeping well, sore, unable to run as far without getting tired, but then I had a fever by Tuesday. After the class less parts of Monday, I made every one on Tuesday and prolly gave whatever I had to each group I saw. Wednesday was hard, but Thursday was the worst.
Not sure that I'd ever been sick without someone nearby who cared. My roommates laughed and left me alone...and then, there wasn't anybody there to make sure I was eating, drinking, showering.... What a mess.
So I survived and know that it can be done - besides, billions of other guys do it alone.
My schedule got a little wacky with the extra sleeping, and today began to look more normal...only had to skip that one last class to be at 100% for the week - physics lab - done!
12 September 2009
11 September 2009
09 September 2009
08 September 2009
Over and over I've been given advice that all sounds the same, and I haven't been listening. Maybe the answer really is staring me right in the face. (thanks for the surprise, self-pic on my phone, Clo!)
07 September 2009
Not sure the cause, but rest, relaxation, being ahead in studies and no roommates may have had a positive impact.
Prolly have to post this in two or three parts because of the details, and not wanting to forget any part -
Starts at the beach - almost all of my good ones start at the beach - and I'm lying on my back and am more comfortable than ever (more later), but I realize that I'm not even touching the sand. I'm floating a few inches above it and therefore no discomfort whatsoever, and no grit - just breeze and perfection. The waves are coming up and they come up to my feet, and dissipate before they reach my ankles. I can hear seagulls and people playing off in the distance, but when I raise my head to see them there's no one in sight - and I get the sense that it's like a private beach. I shift position to my side and can see rocks nearby that kinda form a niche for keeping out of public view. Now...this is the moment that I realize the comfort thing - there's no swimsuit, but it didn't matter because I was completely alone. Dunno about you, but I'm a little modest so being out there sans everything would be pretty difficult, but I was completely at peace.
I heard some extra splashing and thought that someone was in the surf running. Opened my eyes and saw another person, but she wasn't running...she was floating, too, and the splashing was caused by her hands - she was playing in the water and floating in my general direction. I really wanted to recognize her, but it was like her hair kept getting in the way as the sea breeze tossed it about. And then I heard her laughing. It was sweet and childlike and unfettered. When she looked over at me it was as though we were on this beach together because she wasn't surprised. She was laughing for me to hear and enjoy so I started to smile, and then chuckle, and then it came - a really loud relief of a laugh that seemed to make the air reverberate - like a movie special effect. She was becoming recognizable as she got nearer. She was spinning slowly in mid air as she floated over - like a dolphin doing underwater tricks except she was flying. The dream either started to take color or I never noticed it before, but her hair seemed to change colors as she came closer and closer. She was now close enough to reach out and touch.
Wow...time for a nap...
Was telling a friend last night that as bad as the week beginning can be...mid week has me freaking out each of the last two weeks since classes began. The overwhelming pressure of the classes and workload by Wednesday is stifling and whatever normalcy I previously held is left flatly on a hot sidewalk rushing to class.
Getting outside of town and pushing up the hills is fantastic, but it makes my butt and legs feel like they've never done this before. Think I almost went too far...need to find a friend with whom to ride.
Lotta thinking yesterday and ample sleep since Friday night musta jarred loose some good dreams last night. Revelation coming...maybe more sleep means better dreams because I've been re-living the better parts from last night over and over like good movie scenes ;-)
Y'all keep living the good life!
06 September 2009
Y'all be happy and have some more fun, okay?