25 October 2009

Gettin' all thinking-ful

Still working the curiosity of perception and perspective... and prolly always will - it's turned gray today and I'm going back to school as soon as this football game ends....

Last week, well... up until 10 days ago,  I'd perceived the Dallas home as the place of relaxation where I had plenty to do if I wanted.  Thought that there was a sorta hole left here where I once belonged, and that upon my arrival the hole gets filled and it's all good again.  Austin, specifically the campus and immediate area, was full of study and a little angst about trying to keep my head above water.  The landscape changed dramatically every weekend (wubba, wooba, yays!).  Driving away from Austin felt good because I was leaving the stress behind and heading "home".

Beginning Friday it was apparent that there wasn't a hole in Dallas.  Life, of course, moved on in my absence and even the family (now a foursome) functioned perfectly without me.  Visiting here I was an appendage that seemed to surprise anyone who encountered me in my old bedroom (guest room #2) or on a couch watching the game.  It's also kinda boring here without the roomates at each other or a floating group of friends ready to do something at any hour.

Austin then became the oasis in my mind and not the stress pit.  If only I could get back there now, then it would be better and maybe I could sleep.  I'm looking forward to the drive with dad here in just a little while because I've not had more than 30 minutes with him since spring, I think.  It's also the ride to independence of a sorts.

What things are immutable?  There has to be a large group of things that don't change regardless of your perspective - right?

Life happens exactly where you are.  Pleasing and not so... it's going to happen right on your head, and it doesn't matter what other sort of environmental extras there are.  Some so-so realizations include a number of ahas! that you've probably deduced yourself for examples:

- Work is a job and there is no perfect job - school is study and learning on a timetable; one has to make his own fun while doing the work (whistle?)

- Even people on beautiful islands have trouble enjoying rainbows; every place one can live has a preponderance of the things that bug everybody (work, homework, crowding, errands, aggravating people, etc)

- Discovery of one's limitations will soon set in; you're never going to be more handsome/pretty, much stronger, more clever, much funnier, more patient, more appreciative... just because of where one is

- News of the world's disasters and failings will spread from pole to pole in a few seconds; and the news of the good stuff will still take several days

Well... that all seems kinda negative, but here's something else to consider: The fun and glee resides in each one of us and only you can make it come out.  There is no locale being in which is going to suck the happy out and put it on your lips if your mind says it hurts.  There is no place that is free of sad if you want to get there, too.

How could it be that sitting alone or in a crowd that perspective changing news can dramatically alter your mood?  How could it be that music heard at just the right time seems to be the most perfect tune and later the same notes seem way out of place? It's the stuff between your ears.... If it wants you to be happy and finding fun, then it may be found in the simplest of places.  ...I'm really trying not to get glum just because I'm heading back into a storm....  Yay!  Cowboys win -haha....


  1. Totally agree. If there is a song playing and it fits the mood I'm in it can make me feel content no matter what. Yet other times i've sat in my car driving and flipped through my ipod and found not one song that fits what i'm going through. Those are the times that my head is usually going in a thousand different directions. Great post!

  2. Hi Adorable...

    Songs...about the time I forget that they enhance my moments... it's remembered again and "rediscovered". Need some good tunes right now, in fact. Your blog is always fun and thought provoking, and I appreciate that you came on over for a chat! thank you!


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