19 January 2010

Is It Spring, Yet?


So... to celebrate the first day of our spring semester... I skipped my 3 classes....

Actually, I'd already contacted each of my professors and asked them to make their class challenging because I intended to challenge them... and then I skipped.

Nice, huh?

And so it begins.  Where are you, friend?
Follow up: was introduced on Wednesday by my Psych professor as the one to beat...or study with... Nice!

15 January 2010

14 Jan 2010: high Highs and low Lows

I'm kinda pleased to have made it through yesterday without getting physically hurt....
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I've thought a little about trying to stay in between the lines just to avoid the low lows. It's too boring in there and you'll miss so many of the high highs in the process is my theory.
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Yesterday began before the prior day had ended, I s'pose. Just had some extra adrenaline in the corpus as I neared the end of a novel that I started to re-read over the weekend. The fictional story of David Copperfield is fairly amazing - so I'll count that as a high.
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It was late, and wasn't sleepy so I kinda tossed my availability out on the net and so began a great mixture of chats, DMs, skype-ing and email exchanges that pretty ran the range of emotions and stuff shared. I was reading reports from Haiti in between and had already agreed to help in a little phone bank effort that had been hastily put together at church. Thanks for all o y'all keeping me going until almost 5 in the morning - most of it was extremely enjoyable :-). An hour later I was up again...low.
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[Burying my nose in that novel partially came from my stunted ability to communicate my thoughts and actions effectively since about 1-01-2010. Sometimes one just has to stay out of the flow, you know? Started another novel this morning for the same reason.]
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I consider the time to read and the availability of great reads to be a luxury and am constantly thankful for that. Sometimes, though, the reading doesn't work. So I turn back to music again. Fortunately, music always works - not quite sure what I'd do if it didn't.
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But back to yesterday.... The event at church taking calls from parishioners who were responding to an email appeal was nothing short of the most generous set of gestures I'd ever witnessed firsthand. Mostly it was the older, wealthier people in the church who were responding, but I also talked with a 10 year old boy who called to give the money that he'd received as a Christmas gift. All totaled - I talked with 50+ people and wrote down pledges of $42,105 + 500,000 airline miles from the grandmother of a friend of mine. Highest of highs... that is still warming me as I recount the conversations.
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Had to visit a relative after that as a follow-on call wherein I was told that what I probably needed "was a good ass-whipping". Really? Hadn't experienced that in recent memory and to hear those words coming from her mouth rates as a low low, for sure.... Now, obviously, she was upset with a decision that I was making, but to jump to the need for physical harm coming from the lips of someone who loves me...gives me considerable pause. She couldn't mean that, no..., but she never apologizes nor does she take back what she's said :-(
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Had a small car accident - someone decided to ram into the back of my mom's Suburban (again) at a stop light - how on Earth could you not see it?!! They lost the battle and dad says that we won't even be taking it to the shop. The other driver didn't have insurance (so he's mad at me?). All it did was scratch our bumper, but it crushed the other car's front end. Dad had to ask me if the light was red or green - duh...red...low.
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The firewood stacking and the exercise was good except I almost lost some fingers when the axe missed it's mark once and bounced. Gotta be more careful. Coulda been extremely low.
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Got a crazy "wish you were here" email and photo from Italy. Grrrr...low.
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Was home alone for a while and greeted a neighbor who thought to bring us some cookies she baked in thanks for the pecans we gave her family at Christmas. Told her I made them! Jeebus - she stole a kiss as I was looking at her cookies! Hi!
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Was reminded throughout the day that ambiguity of words reigns supreme on the internet. Too many lows to count as I explained that I'm not a meanie and choose not to try and be sarcastic when txting - unless it's obvious!!! Mix of highs and lows.
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And then there's you....

12 January 2010

What was that... he blogged?

 

Getting into a serious bout of daily exercise is a daily obsession that usually helps all kinds of things.  The tennis of the weekend, however,  has my shoulders and forearms hurting and the bike ride yesterday paid me back today with cracked and (ugh) bleeding knuckles, ears, nose and lips.  Haven't ever gone that far in that kind of cold, and didn't have a riding partner to suggest more sensible methods of getting the exercise.  So I read for eight hours today (<3 Dickens), but every time I got up or talked to someone - something else didn't go right.  S'pose it's possible that each of you has had similar days so the details and the ughs will just go unmentioned.

It's odd, but almost with the turning of the calendar page, I lost the ability to perceive things with "usual" clarity, too.  I commenced to ask myself more and more and more questions.  Fortunately, it's not the first time that I've had my mind go into hyperdrive;  Otherwise, I might be completely unsettled.

It's almost as though I have too much time free to discover details on every little occurrence and attempt to place it's significance.  She, we, they, them, did, had, loved, because....

I'm not supposed to be here....  Is what I've heard myself saying to myself since last Friday.  Dunno if you recall (or even were aware that) I'd planned a trip to Italy in the fall and the trip "went on without me" this week.  Dwelling on the past doesn't happen much in my head, but focusing in little bits on each day of what was to have been a reward for doing well in the fall... keeps popping in throughout the day.  I've been unable to get the replacement trip planned (good way to divert) and my communications have just been getting worse and worse as these cold winter days in 2010 each pass.  I think that I may have lost a friend right after Christmas, too, and probably a few more in the months before that.  Friends come back, though, or I go to them.

School starts up again next Tuesday and I've been preparing to put some direction into place on several agenda items.  Wishing now that I'd been able to plan better for what might have happened this week - you know... if I were here instead of there....

04 January 2010

Need To Focus

Thinking the spring semester can't start soon enough 'cuz I'm all over. Do you wonder about any of these things or say them to yourself?

What's my ideal amount of sleep?
Think I love Corvettes.
Hydro...Wave power is the ticket!
Ooohh...she's extremely attractive.
25,000 miles per hour is not slow.
Why do I love green...and blue?
Think I was just driving too fast.
Jiji- and thus I was transformed...
Thank you!
I wanna ski...at the Olympics...
Cowboys!!
Longhorns!!!
Good dog...
That's an unattractive design.
Maybe it's better inside.
Lovely shape :-)
Dibble, dibble, dopp...
So tired...good pain, tho...
Need to take more pictures
Need to finish that painting, too
Those branches need trimming.
Ha! She did-not-just-say-that...
These pants don't fit right
Why did that happen?
She loves me...or does she?
Origami for a friend...
Should I go ahead and get a new computer?
When's my next trip? Where?
Where's the proof that I'm sane?
Why do batteries cost so much?
Need more hugs, I think.
Was he really trying to be mean?
Why are Mondays so different?
Pause... *prays*
How do we capture more of the Sun's power?
What do I want to be?
Is it important that I earn a lot?
Can a job be enjoyable?
Gotta listen to more music.
Return his call
I could clean that up right now.
Need to go camping...NAO!
*Smiles*
Nope...she doesn't love me.
Would our cat eat me, if he could?
Need another looooong shower...
How soon before I realize winter is ending?
Does she even care?
I've GOT to stop doing that!
Need to be more efficient.
Do I tell her everything, or just enough?
How long will I live?
Will I do something universally good...ever?
Touch
Smell
Breathe
Breathe